Thursday, December 6, 2007

my wit extends no further

God help me.

I love my daughter more than anything in the world. And heaven knows she adores the shit out of me. But I am at my wit's end right now, dealing with these tormented, painful, agonized SCREAMS that she is emitting when I put her down for bed at night.

It is HORR. IB. BULLLLL. Horrible.

I have tried just about everything, from extending her bedtime to rocking her longer to giving her a little Tylenol. Tonight we even went to Wal Mart and I spent 40 bucks on this aquarium crib attachment that lights up and plays a tinny, mechanical version of Canon in D while lights and bubbles are supposed to soothe her to sleep. I gave her a drop of Mylicol, thinking maybe she is suffering tremendous gas pains. (All this, coming from a mother who believes in homeopathy and wooden toys.) I offer her a binky. I sing. I rock. I cry. I try EVERYTHING.

And here's why: (note: not for the very sensitive.) I kept it to one minute so as not to make you too insane.

cry baby from shemmy on Vimeo.

This is still going on. It has been 10 minutes. Why, you may ask, don't I go in there and hold her? Oh, that works. It certainly does. But the very second I go to place her in her crib, even if she is fast asleep, it happens all over again. Why don't I go rub her tummy? I have been. But the second I lift my hand away to silently tiptoe out of the room she wakes up and starts again. My knees fall asleep and my back aches from standing over her.

I just came back upstairs after being with her. I rubbed her tummy and her little head, turned the aquarium thing to music only (the lights seemed a little too tv-screeny for me), and then sat in the rocking chair in the corner until her screams lessened and finally subsided. Then I absolutely silently got up and left the room. Yes! She's asleep.

Or not. Honest to goodness, she started screaming again as soon as I was out the door. Not whimpering. Not moaning. S-c-r-e-a-m-i-n-g.

Like I said, blbekee[p[kglg'lkaslns*$@#kjfnkjasjoieznpppphhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooo. I. Don't. Know. What. To. Do.


Elaine said...

If she is fed, dry, and not in pain....just turn off the monitor and know that you are a fabulous mother. Just a thought from Tutu.

Grams said...

Sweetheart, this too shall pass. It's really a good sign that she is developing and realizing when her beloved Mommy is not in sight...I agree with Tutu, if you know she is fed, not in pain...don't torture yourself with listening to her amplified screams through the monitor. You can always listen by the door to ensure she is ok. I so remember how babies can SCREAM for an unbelievably long's gutting..but not life threatening. Know that you are a wonderful mother...our sweet buggie is just doing what she needs to do right now. Lots of love,XOXOXOXOX