Sunday, October 25, 2009

bump watch - 27 weeks

Photos courtesy of Photography by Luciya.

I can't believe we're already in the 3rd trimester!

Last weekend I went to the Stroller Strides national conference in San Diego. It was warm and beautiful and inspirational. I got certified to introduce a new program called Fit4Baby, which is geared toward prenatal clients. And I learned that just because a woman is pregnant doesn't mean she should necessarily "take it easy." So, I got my butt whooped while running, doing jumping jacks and crunches, and learning a slew of new exercises alongside dozens of other franchisees and instructors from all over the country.

I feel amazing. The baby is incredibly active and happy, too, and is quite the tiny mover and shaker. My body feels great and my sciatica is barely noticeable. It feels so good to know that I can be strong and fuel my baby and my body so healthily.

I feel so good, though, that I keep forgetting that I actually have quite the rotund size now, and I find myself doing silly things like getting wedged into spaces that are just too tight or shutting Luciya's car door without stepping far enough away, and totally scraping the Buddha bump. In the middle of the night I still think it might be possible to sleep on my belly for just a little while, but no, no, I can't deny it any more. And I'm having to get creative with my clothing (since the "Idaho mom" uniform of sweats and tees can only hold out so long). On Maui, I floated around in flowy dresses the entire time, but now that it's getting COLD I'm realizing I probably won't be able to subsist on that one pair of stretchy leggings for too much longer. It's a journey.

Less that 3 months to go until Baby's due date!

Monday, October 19, 2009

eLLe - 30 month

Dear Luciya,

You're 2 and a half! Hello!

Today, as we were driving along, a song came on that said the word "hello." You said "hello!" and then asked to have your window rolled down. I rolled down your window and you shouted, "Hello, world!" As if that wasn't enough, you added, "I love you, world!" And then you continued to shout that numerous times. "I love you, world! I love you, world!" I was busting up and I said, "Yeah, you love the world?" And you smiled, all cheeky and proud and said, "Yeah! The world love me!"

Oh, stop it, child. But you know it's true. The world does love you.

Even if you are a strong-willed, independent, spicy, spirited, feisty, stubborn, active, ornery, bright and boastful little girl. Whew! You are the little toro in the proverbial china shop. Sometimes you nap, sometimes you don't. You've started hitting, which is the uncoolest thing ever. Where on earth does that come from? You run away when I call for you, you look me in the eye as you dump a fistful of veggies off your high chair tray, and you throw things.

You're insistent on dressing yourself these days. I thought I would have until you were at least three to pick out your outfits! But no, you need to pick out what you wear more often than not, and you're perefectly able to pull on, zip up, button, and snap. And as long as you can wear your shirt backwards, you're happy.

We're slowly getting ready for the baby's arrival, and since you're now completely able to sleep in your big girl bed (when you're not playing contentedly for 2 hours during "nap time"), we've removed the tent and set up the crib with new baby bedding. You point out that the crib is for the new baby, your "baby brudder-sissah," and you point to your tummy and the baby that's going to come out your "piko." But lately when I commend you on being a big girl (like today, when you went to your potty all by yourself, shut the door, wiped your bottom, and washed your hands with soap - hurray!), you say "I not a big girl, I a little baby." Tutu says that when your Uncle Adam was born, I was suddenly insistent on drinking out of a bottle again, so we'll see how it goes for you. You LOVE babies, though, and are always wanting to say hi to, point out, or cuddle any babies you see.

As determined and incessant and adept you are at being a pill-bottom and a shot-caller, you are just as passionate about loving, and kissing, and befriending, and remembering. Your sweet stinky breath when you wake up from naps and nightime is so delicious when it accompanies those sleepy snuggles. You love to play happily with me, your buddies at Stroller Strides, and increasingly by yourself with your toys and books. You give hugs and kisses all around and are very comfortable with strangers; you're confident that the world does indeed love you.

I think about you all the time, and am continually and increasingly grateful that you chose me to be your mama.

I love you, Luciya! Deeply and forever.



Wednesday, October 14, 2009

just what the shrink ordered

So, I've been learning a lot about antenatal depression, and that it affects as many as 1 in 10 pregnant women. And since I've been eating well, exercising a lot, sleeping fine, and have a good social network, I realized that there was something more going on when I was so, so sad, and anxious, and angry, and panicked to the point of near hyperventalation. So, I took some matters into my own hands, and contacted a local therapist who wpecializes in pre and post natal depression, and an acupuncturist.

First off, just talking and being heard is amazing, and secondly, why didn't anyone ever tell me about acupuncture? I leave feeling like I'm floating, even though lately I'm having to heft my body from side to side to roll over at night.

But. Therapy. John and I went to the first appointment together, and expressed our dedication to our marriage and each other. So we decided to get away for our first anniversary, and took up one of my Stroller Strides mamas to use her condo in Sun Valley for the weekend.

It was perfect. Autumn had already visited, but the aspen trees were still golden and twinkling, and the long, four-hour route we took through the mountains was dusted in snow.

We stopped by Red Fish Lake, which was closing that weekend for the season. The lodge looked just as I remembered it from childhood, and the water of the lake was remarkably clear.

We took in the sights of the breathtaking Sawtooth Mountains.

We went for a long walk along the Big Wood River and enjoyed delicious food, chocolate and wine. We shopped at Ketchum's cute little town center and visited a wonderful book shop and spen t way too much on chocolates. John let me rest one afternoon, and he went out and bought a coming-home outfit for the new baby.

Our last day there we woke up to snow, so we stayed in, cuddled, and watched a movie on the couch. How awesome is that? I don't think we've done anything like that since before Luciya was born.

Thanks to the mama who let us use her beautiful cabin, thanks to Tutu for watching Luciya, thanks to the therapist for making me feel less crazy, thanks to John for your patience, and blessings to those mamas-to-be out there who may not know how important it is to take care of yourself first. It will make it so much easier to take care of everyone else in the future. Depression is nothing to be ashamed about, and there are lots of resources out there and people who care.