this too shall pass

I appreciate everyone's concern and care over little eLLe's separation anxiety and my ensuing freak-outs (yay for grandmas!). I appreciate the advice, too, and know that turning off the monitor is probably a good idea.

But here's the thing.

Last Sunday night was when this whole freak-out screaming thing really hit its peak. John and I took turns consoling and holding her, eventually putting her down - still crying - at about 8:30 (her normal bedtime is 7:00). We turned off the monitor and went outside for about 15 minutes. When we came back in, all was quiet. I snuck into her room and saw her moving around, which was a good sign. So I joined John for a tivo-ed episode of Project Runway in the family room.

I went in to check on her again at about 10:30, and what happened next still makes my heart sink. I reached into her crib and I felt the wetness and the chunks. As my lungs slid into my bowels I realized that she had vomited all over the bed. All over the sheets, her blanket, down the sleeve and side of her jammies, in her hair. In her whole life, I have never known Luciya to throw up. And this wasn't spit-up. It was puke. Ralph. Chunks.

I reached over to her tummy. No reaction. I wiggled her. Nothing. I dragged her down to the middle of the crib and shook her with both hands until she groggily moaned and squinted her exhausted eyes open at me. She remained lethargic as we changed her pajamas and bedding, and then I laid her back down in her crib and just watched her watch me for a while. No crying, nothing.

We made our baby girl puke. And I just sat there thinking, I am so sorry. I will never let this happen again.

Sooo... am I sensitive? Maybe. Paranoid? Perhaps. But the monitor is staying on for a while.

Of course, Luciya woke up just as chipper as ever (that's one thing I love about babies... they don't hold a grudge). Good thing, too, because the next morning at 9:30 we had our Christmas portraits taken at Sears. Yeah, she was a little red-rimmed around the eyes (and so was I), but the overall results were, well... you tell me.


And I know that it probably sounds like I'm turning into paranoid hyper-mom, but please believe me I'm still as chillaxed as ever. And please don't think I'm Complainer Connie. I am so grateful for Luciya's health and happiness, and I have never, ever considered her a burden (big DUH there, I guess). I am just thankful for this little blog, because I know it's read by people who care, and I can feel like y'all are here with me. And I thank you for that.