wait, is that....?? no, no it's not. or is it?

I have been having slight contractions since 1:30 am.
But I think they're gone now.

*Sigh*

Throughout the pregnancy I have been getting weekly email updates from babycenter.com: "Week 34!" "Week 38!" "Week 40!"

Sunday, the subject was "Your baby's first week."

Ha!

Due dates are cruel.

I have been going absolutely nutball crazy. Last night I had a sob fest for about a half hour. I had taken my third dose of castor oil in 5 days to no avail. I felt so down; I have been talking with this baby for the past 9 months and felt we had a connection. Now I have been wondering, gently asking, begging, pleading and downright demanding this child show herself, and I feel like (s)he is light years away.

I can't describe the frustration. I know (s)he is fine and happy and healthy and all the rest, but as of 4 days from now the doctors won't see it that way and I will face artificial induction.

That, and the possibility of birthing the Incredible 85 Pound Monster Baby terrify me.

I thought going on a walk today might help out these twinges I've been feeling for the last 16 hours (8 minutes apart! Kinda painful!), but, alas, once I came back from the walk I've only felt one or two.

Help me.