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Friday, March 13, 2009

just another word for nothin' left to lose

The procedure went very well last week (almost too well - seriously, I can see how people can become addicted to Demerol). But I digress. I actually felt very comfortable with our doctor and the nurse in attendance. She brought me a wool blanket to snuggle with afterwards, and the doctor, per our request, let us take a look at what he removed. 


We named him Kanoa, which was the boy name we had decided on early in the pregnancy. The name is fitting for a couple reasons - first, because I feel strongly that this baby would have been a boy, and second, because Kanoa is a Hawaiian name that means "free man." While I may never understand where he went  or why, I take comfort in the idea that he, and I, are where we are supposed to be.

I have been able to take the best possible stance in this situation, and I'm motivated to live a wonderful life for Kanoa and for everything else I have the opportunity to achieve. We've had happy spirits lately, and have even been able to find ways to laugh - about the fact that Kanoa is resting in our outdoor freezer until we place him in the ground with a special tree. About how John asked the doctor at the consultation before the D&C: "So, you got a Baggie or something we can take it home in?" I know this all may sound macabre, but laughter is a truly healing art, and the fact that I've been able to laugh so much in the last week or so has felt like a blessing. 

I'm choosing to stick with my convictions that everything happens for a reason, and I've taken advantage of the situation to start some new and exciting business plans, to focus on providing a happy and healthy summer for Luciya and working on potty training and binky dropping and running like maniacs in the sunshine, and to diligently strive to make my own body a healthy, glowing temple.  And, I've realized that being 8 months pregnant in 100 degree weather while teaching Stroller Strides classes might not have been  my best look. Kanoa just may be the wisest embryo I've ever met. 

When Baby #2 (well, #3) does come around, I am going to do my best to make sure that he or she is welcomed into the best world we can afford to give him or her. I was concerned today when I saw this news story on the Onion. The education of our future generations is so important. Please join me in my commitment to making sure our children receive the best possible education we can provide them.

3 comments:

Daina said...

((((Emily!)))) Huggles (and whalesongs) to you!

Emily said...

thanks for the comment, daina! seriously, why aren't there more comments on this video? is it not the funniest thing you've EVER seen, or are john and i just a couple of weirdos? i swear, we re-watch it at least once a day and more often than not i have tears streaming from laughing so much.

maybe it's just us.

Ophelia said...

You may not realize it, but one of the main reasons Teresa & Matthew decided to settle in this area to raise a family is because the school district, L.R. Green, is well known for their whale curriculum.

In fact you would need to go to one of the islands for more whale instruction.

I am a proud Grandma to know that my grand daughters are learning whale at a young age.

How touching and heart warming to see the woman in the clip who is going to adult school to learn whale because her Mama was too busy working to "coo whale" with her. Like the man siting next to her, I also remember that beautiful song; my Mama sang it to me every night. Ahh, good times.

Emily, I'm pleased to see that you 'get' the importance of whale. Thank you for sharing that much needed video with us. I'm so proud to call you my daughter-in-law!