just what the shrink ordered

So, I've been learning a lot about antenatal depression, and that it affects as many as 1 in 10 pregnant women. And since I've been eating well, exercising a lot, sleeping fine, and have a good social network, I realized that there was something more going on when I was so, so sad, and anxious, and angry, and panicked to the point of near hyperventalation. So, I took some matters into my own hands, and contacted a local therapist who wpecializes in pre and post natal depression, and an acupuncturist.

First off, just talking and being heard is amazing, and secondly, why didn't anyone ever tell me about acupuncture? I leave feeling like I'm floating, even though lately I'm having to heft my body from side to side to roll over at night.

But. Therapy. John and I went to the first appointment together, and expressed our dedication to our marriage and each other. So we decided to get away for our first anniversary, and took up one of my Stroller Strides mamas to use her condo in Sun Valley for the weekend.

It was perfect. Autumn had already visited, but the aspen trees were still golden and twinkling, and the long, four-hour route we took through the mountains was dusted in snow.

We stopped by Red Fish Lake, which was closing that weekend for the season. The lodge looked just as I remembered it from childhood, and the water of the lake was remarkably clear.

We took in the sights of the breathtaking Sawtooth Mountains.

We went for a long walk along the Big Wood River and enjoyed delicious food, chocolate and wine. We shopped at Ketchum's cute little town center and visited a wonderful book shop and spen t way too much on chocolates. John let me rest one afternoon, and he went out and bought a coming-home outfit for the new baby.

Our last day there we woke up to snow, so we stayed in, cuddled, and watched a movie on the couch. How awesome is that? I don't think we've done anything like that since before Luciya was born.

Thanks to the mama who let us use her beautiful cabin, thanks to Tutu for watching Luciya, thanks to the therapist for making me feel less crazy, thanks to John for your patience, and blessings to those mamas-to-be out there who may not know how important it is to take care of yourself first. It will make it so much easier to take care of everyone else in the future. Depression is nothing to be ashamed about, and there are lots of resources out there and people who care.

a first

Holy cow,
A year always trips me out
Please tell me that time will slow down soon
Perhaps we'll have more chances to sit and celebrate
You and me.

Although this year has been
No picnic for its challenges
Nice things seem to come our way, and
I foresee
Very many more years together -
Eighty or so -
Rife with opportunities to work on
Strengthening all we have
And growing more beautiful as a family
Right here
You and me.

gimme some sugar

Things are really stinky right now. Or, as Luciya would say... "caca."

We have entered the strangest level of discomfort and HELL with our new business. In the first week of November (our official first week), we lost about 10 clients, who own approximately 23 properties between them.

That's MORE THAN HALF of the the monthly income we were expecting. 

To top it off, the previous company owners (who took a full month's worth of "consulting fees," as well as the remainder of what we owed them for the business, from the security deposits bank account), are telling us, via nasty emails, that it is all our fault that we lost those clients. Basically, the previous owners have taken the money and run.

Then tonight I received a nasty email from one of the clients we lost. Help me, I'm not used to this negativity. Nor am I good at handling it. I don't know whether to cry, or get mad, or try and take the high road and say screw it, so what if we're going to be bringing in $2100 less a month than we've been budgeting for, it's time to take the high road and make this the best damn property management business in the state. We'll hold off on the big, life changing plans we've started to make. We'll get through it.

But I'm suddenly swamped with trying to figure out this new software, and refund thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars worth of security deposits, and trying to wrap my head around WHAT WENT WRONG. I'm literally flabbergasted. I have no idea what is happening. 

AND we ordered business cards and brochures from Staples and they are the biggest lumps of crap I have ever seen. The borders are crooked, the ink is fuzzy, and the paper is flimsy. We have to return them.

AND the vacuum cleaner is broken. I love to vacuum. It soothes me. And goodness knows this house could use a good once-over. 

And meanwhile I know sweet Luciya can feel the angst in the house; she's jumpy and clingy. Mama could really use some love right now. I just try.

what?

We are Ton Ton and Shemmy.

We live on Maui, Hawaii.

Ton Ton and I thought it would be fun to start a blog. Help me, this is not so fun. I try, but I am not a computer commando.